Finding a Way Back to Love
by DiNozzo and Gibbs addict
Summary: As Bull has a blast from the past when someone from that very distant past comes into his life as she comes to help with a case, will the two of them be able to find their way back to love again or will things be spoilt by people from their past?


**Finding a Way Back to Love**

 **Chapter 1.**

At TAC everyone was just getting prepared for their next case. Bull had taken on a case and was representing the victims of a restaurant where there had been quite a few cases of food poisoning and had also caused the death of one victim. Just as the party with some of their lawyers walked in for their first meeting with him, he knew that he recognized someone amongst them so he whispered to Marissa who was sitting with him at the time along with discreetly pointing at the person he was talking about "Don't tell me that she's one of lawyers?"

Marissa had a look round at her and then got hold of one of the files that were sitting in front of her to read and replied quietly back "That's Emily-Rose Dawson. She's not a lawyer. She's an expert in infectious diseases and poisons because of being a doctor."

He said with some surprise "Wow! That's something that I didn't see her doing."

Marissa then says with some surprise herself "You know her?"

He answers with a far away look on his face as memories start coming to him "Once many years ago."

Marissa then asks "So what did you actually see her doing?"

He explains "Let's just say that she was the one that got me interested in doing what I do and have done and leave it at that."

She says with a smile "Well she did actually do that as well."

"Hey?"

She then answers "She went to the UK when she was twenty years old and went to Oxford University for her doctorate in psychology and set up her own practise, which her partners that she set it up with are still running successfully. She somehow got involved with a client that had come close to dying from an infectious disease and got involved with his case as he sued the company he worked for and picked the disease up from. After the case she gave up her job and went back to university to re-train as a doctor and trained at a top London hospital. Going onto then doing her specialism into poisons and infectious diseases. Since then she's become such an expert in things that she's worked with the DOD, and also homeland as well as numerous police forces and federal agencies around the world. Although no-one knows what's really happening with her. Because there's a rumour going round that she's starting to slow down on doing all of that and won't be doing it anymore. So this could end up being the last case that she might be getting involved with. But no-one knows what the reason for it might be. So how do you know her? Especially if she was the one that got you started in all of this, I mean the two of you had to be at least teenagers surely?"

He replies with a slight smirk on his face "For that I'm not going to say a thing." He then gets up from his seat as he leaves her wondering about things and adds "Now let's go and talk to our clients and get this ball rolling."

As they walk into Chunk's room where everyone is for the meeting as soon as Emily-Rose meets Bull's eyes she shows the recognition on her face, but other than that she makes a quick attempt at closing herself down so he can't read her. Especially as she knows without the years of more experience he's probably gained now, in the past he could very easily read her anyway. But she still doesn't manage to do it in time and he get's this feeling of overwhelming sadness coming off of her, despite the overly cheerful persona that she seems to be trying to portray with everyone else. As the morning goes on they introduce them to some of the team as well as Bull explaining to them what is going to happen with everything. Then to check on their stories and that statements are correct Benny and Marissa go through those statements with everyone, Bull stood watching them all but also discreetly watched Emily-Rose to see if he could just get a handle on her to try and read her more. Because even with his past of being able to read her so easily, it had also worked in reverse and she'd been able to read him very easily too and each time she caught him watching her she'd start putting him off by trying to read him back. But even though the two of them hadn't seen each other for years he was getting enough off of her to be able to tell that she did have something troubling her. So he was finding himself hoping that she would eventually allow him back in so that he could be there for her and hopefully help her with whatever was troubling her.

In the end they didn't end up really need Emily that day but in the end Bull was quite pleased to watch her working more in a counselling capacity. Talking to all of their clients and making sure that they were all ok with everything and explaining any inquiries they had with the process as it was continuing. At the end of the day she also took him by surprise as in a way he'd sort of expected to have to chase her. But after collecting her stuff together she went over to him and said "Hello Jason."

He looked at her with a slight smile and said back "Hi Emily."

She then said "Can we talk?"

To which he answered "Ok, let's get out of here."

They did that and then ended up going into a little café near by, but he of course made sure they got a private area out of the way. After a few minutes silence he finally broke it by saying "So what is it Em? We've not seen each other in years and I know that there's something. No matter how much you shut me out or attempt to, I can still read you."

She answers by asking quietly "How much do you know?"

He answers her "Just that you went to the UK and your career over there, but nothing about your personal life."

She sighs and says "This is my final case so to speak because I'm on my own."

He asks "Why, what's happened to your family?"

She answers "My mom passed away not long after I qualified in the UK. Dad got caught up in a fraud case and has now been in prison for ten years. I'm giving up on my career because Karen has got leukaemia and has only got a few months left. She and her partner split up shortly after she had her baby Michaela and he's signed his parental rights away, so I'm adopting her which is due to go through any day now. I'm on my own and I'm scared Jason."

Because of the way the two of them are sitting on the sofa together and the emotions get to her, he pulls her into him as she lets them go. While still keeping hold of her he then says "I promise you Em you are not alone and despite what has happened in our past, I'm here for you and always will be. I'm so sorry about your mom and I'm so sorry about Karen. If anything happens while this case is going on and you can't get to court for whatever reason you just give me a call. Day or night I will be here for you and will be by your side. Even if you just need to talk, call me I will be here. I know you so well and I know how emotional you are. I can see that you are still very much like that and just bottle everything up inside you. In the past I was the only person that you would open up too. You can't carry all of this around inside of you on your own Em, it's just too much. You call me day or night when we haven't had a meeting or are in court just to check in or just come to the office and see me. I promise that I will always make sure that I'm available."

She does an emotional weak smile at him and says "I will do I promise."

He smiles back and then asks "So what the hell happened with your dad?"

She answers "I just don't have a clue. All I do know is that it had something to do with him fixing the books or something like that. I did try to look into it all even when everything connected to the case became public. But I just couldn't get my head round it all and work it out what it was."

He then jokingly says "Well you never were any good with maths, so I'm not surprised that you couldn't work it out."

She lifts her head from his shoulder and pokes him in the arm as she says "Says the man who failed a test because of copying me. I have you know though that my maths has improved by miles thanks to having to do my own books in the UK until I could afford to hire an accountant."

He then says "You know I will put my hands up and say that I hadn't got a clue what had happened to you, even if me and Karen had sort of remained close. All I knew was that you were somewhere in the UK. So I did actually only find out about what you'd been up to when I talked to Marissa and she told me after seeing you walk in today. But I am so very proud of you for what you have done in your life."

She replies "Thank you. Although sometimes I wish that my knowledge had gone far enough so that I could have helped mom and Karen."

He says "I know it's hard, but you can't do everything. If you don't think that I'm prying and I know that he can't help much with being inside, but how come you cut ties with your dad?"

She sighs and answers "It came at the end of a culmination of things really. It started following the two of us splitting up and then the first relationship that I had in the UK. The joke of it was that dad had come to visit me in the UK and I had just told David that it was over. So with David knowing about dad's visit he thought that he could manipulate the situation and could use dad to help him win me back again. Which wasn't going to work anyway because I knew that he wasn't right for me. Dad could also see that he wasn't right for me as well, but it then set an argument off that I should never have let you go. Then after mom passed away, because of the way the two of us had really settled in our new lives over there. Mom had said that she wanted to be buried over there, even if she had lived all her life until then here. Dad wouldn't have it and fought me and Karen all the way until he finally got his wish and she did have to be buried here. So after that I started to shut him out. But somehow he then found out who I was seeing next. It was so early days though that I didn't actually know if I wanted the relationship to become more or not. But he didn't like the bloke, so then caused problems by convincing him that I'd still got someone here who I was still seeing. Which was of course namely you. We had and argument and then split. The next time I did manage to come home again he was seeing this bimbo who both me and Karen said that she was just after him for the money. And boy in the end we were proved to be so very right, because they did get engaged but split up very close to the date when they were getting married. So she of course took him to the cleaners in court. Not long after that all the stuff with fraud started happening. Because of the way he'd built his money up again so quickly after giving her the money he had too and so it was called into question. We then had a big row and that was it."

He says "Well we both know that when we did finally get found out with our relationship, they just saw it as a business asset, not that we took any notice of that anyway. Karen did tell me to never tell you this as she though that you would get upset. But your dad did try to give me some money after we split so that I could try winning you back again. Then I don't know but it probably does work out to be about the time of the second relationship for you. But he actually approached me and said that he would give me your actual location. I turned him down and told him that if there was to be another relationship between us and it was meant to be. Then we would find our own way back to one another and that he couldn't just buy me off. Especially as by then I had cut all ties with my own dad."

She replies "I'm not surprised that he did that. I never said anything to Karen, as it wasn't long after she found out that she was pregnant with Michaela. God knows why but it was like he was trying to buy his way back into my life again. Plus I don't have a clue how he managed to do it because it was after everything had been frozen account wise. But I got a letter from him with a cheque inside it and it was for quite a big amount as well. In the letter it said that it was for us getting together again. Then he also had a nerve to also put in the letter that if we did get together again and then couldn't have a family for whatever reason, then he would pay to make it happen. I of course ignored it and just filed it away just in case it ever got needed for something. My thoughts were always the same though, that if we were ever to get together again, then we'd be bought back together in our own way and in our time." She then looks at her watch and adds "I hate to leave things here as they are, but I'm afraid that I've got to cut and run. I tell you what Doctor Bull, I've got to go and get Michaela from the child minder because of also taking her to see Karen as well. Why don't you join us? I know that it might be hard, but I'm sure that she would like to see you."

He says "I promised you that I would be here for you and I do really mean it. I would love to come and see her, as well as meet Michaela. Ok I'll head back to the office and get the car. Would you like a lift?"

She answers "Thanks I would if you don't mind? As it will then save me having to go back for the car. I tell you what afterwards why don't you come back with us and then I'll cook?"

He says "I would really like that and then perhaps after that I can help you put Michaela to bed if you'd like?"

She replies with a smile "That would be good, thank you."

After having quite a good visit with Karen, who was very surprised that Bull had turned up as well with Emily, when Emily took Michaela off to get her changed leaving Karen and Bull alone, Karen got Bull to go to her side and as she took his hand she said "Tell me the truth Bull, I know that we stayed in touch longer than you and Emily did and that you are Michaela's godfather, but you still love Emily don't you?"

He uses his free hand to scrub it over his face and then holds the back of his neck as he says "I've not seen her for years and we have talked already, but yes I think I do."

She says with some exasperation "I've never known two people be as stubborn as the two of you are. You both have missed out on so much time together already, and yes I know that some of it was our father and yours putting doubts in your heads. Just promise me Jason that you'll look after her and my daughter and live the life that you've wanted to together. I know that you probably know about her other relationships already, but they were just a cover, even with dad's interference. I know my sister Jason and despite her saying that she did sleep with the both of them, I know that she didn't and that you are the only man that she's ever slept with. I also know that it is apart of your duty as Michaela's godfather to help with her care, but I would really love to see the two of you as her parents together."

He squeezes her hand and replies "I promise you that I will do my best and will look after the both of them no matter what. Now the only other question is what are we going to do about telling her about Jen? Because she does really need to know the truth."

Karen sighs and says "I know that she does, but as the two of you have only just been reunited again, you need to be able to enjoy that and get to know each other all over again. You've always been her rock Jason and you will have to be that again for her. Especially if dad does end up finding out about the two of you again, as I do really have my doubts that he will be able to leave the two of you alone even if he is on the inside."

He says "Well he has already done that."

She asks "How do you mean?"

He answers "She said that she didn't tell you about it because of you just finding out that you were pregnant. But despite everything being frozen with the conviction, he sent her a big cheque to try and get us together again. As well as saying that he would pay more money if we had problems with having a family."

She says with a hint of anger to her voice "That man does really have a nerve."

He replies "He certainly does, I've also got a bone to pick with you. I know that we were still in touch then, but why didn't you tell me about him being in prison?"

She answers "It's because with some help from Benny, I got all the correct no contact orders and things sorted out, so that nothing will ever get through to me, even if at any time he changes prison. So my contact with him was severed from the off, and unlike Emily I was also around all the time as well. I know that he kept saying that he was innocent through it all, but I knew that he was guilty all along. With her being away from it all she couldn't see it. I mean if I had really felt like he was as innocent as he was making out I would have been calling to ask you for help. Plus I always thought that even though she did see through him eventually she was always very much a daddy's girl. Then she met you and was away from him more because of the two of you spending more and more time together, especially after you started sleeping together. So she was then finally able to see how much he was trying to manipulate your relationship and she didn't want that happening because of how much she loved you. That's why I want the both of you to do everything to keep him out of your lives and be happy with my daughter as your family. Who knows perhaps the two of you may also end up having a little family of your own."

He says "Who knows perhaps we may do."

When they Karen a little while later she gets straight on the phone to Benny and says that she wants him to do the paperwork that needs to be done, so that when Bull is ready to do it he can also adopt Michaela as well.

Once the two of them have fed Michaela, given her a bath and put her down for the night. Emily does as she promised and cooks for the two of them. As they eat together Bull jokingly says "Wow, this is actually good, have you been having cooking lessons or something?"

She nudges him and says "Nope just met a really great cook who showed me what he knew as he was a chef. After things ended with my last boyfriend I met Simon while on a case I worked on with the British police, he wasn't a suspect or anything like that. He was a really great man and very much the gay best friend. Even though he did teach me a good deal, he did still keep a few of his own secrets back and cooked some really amazing meals. He now actually lives in the house I lived in, in the UK. I gave it to him as I felt as though he really deserved it. He's a really amazing man and has been through so much in his life. Especially as by then even though I was helping the police I'd become a doctor by then and was in the middle of changing careers, but I did just have to help him as well. And I was actually so glad that I did help him, as I don't think he would've become the man he is today if I hadn't helped him."

He replies "And you know that's what I've always loved about you. The way that you always want to help people when you know that they do really need help, as you always had the knack for knowing if someone was actually being genuine or not."

She says "And that's why I was so glad to help Simon because not many people would. As I say he is one of my best friends now, but I do have a feeling that he's probably happy that I've come home again now. Because I did have a habit of trying to get him fixed up with someone, and I can't do it to him when I'm here."

He replies "Actually he may be wrong there."

"Mmm?"

He says "I know that you haven't met him and don't know him well enough yet, but Chunk is single. So if Simon does ever come over here and they of course like each other, then we could perhaps fix the two of them up, then they could both kill us. Well unless things worked out for the two of them of course."

She replies thoughtfully "I'll bare it in mind, as I would like to see him truly happy. So anyway what's our plan going to be court wise?"

He says "I think it's probably going to be going over the final statements and then getting the mirror jurors sorted out. I also think that it might be an idea that because you're our expert witness, you and Benny should perhaps get your heads together. Then that way the two of you can get things into a more understandable way for the jury, for when the time comes for you to take the stand. You will be ok with taking the stand won't you?"

She replies "Of course I will be as I have done it a few times now, but I will use your guidance like everyone else will."

He then says "So once this is all over for you, do you think that you will miss it?"

She replies "I don't know, but I do have a feeling that perhaps I might do. Especially as I will also be keeping Michaela with the nursery and the child minder, as I think that it does do her some good being with other children. At the moment though I just feel like I need to take a break from it all, but who knows? Perhaps things may change when she goes to school, although it will still have to be something that I can do so I'm available to her."

He then says "Well if at anytime you fancy coming in to help us, then you'll be more than welcome to do that, because if you need to you could bring work home with you. Not only that we'll also all be around to look after her as well, so you could also bring her into TAC. I promise that I won't pressure you into anything, but if you did do it you could also choose your own hours."

She then takes his hand and says "Does that include us managing to work together if something more happens between us?"

He squeezes the hand that she's holding in his as he answers "Look I know that we were joking earlier on about us copying each other. But back then we did still manage to work well together even with our relationship, so yes I do think that the two of us can work well together once again. Are you saying that you would like us to try again?"

She does a smile at him and answers "I think so, we were good together Jason and we both managed to battle through everything that our dad's threw at us. I know that perhaps at the moment it might not be good to start something again, but I have really missed you Jason and I never truly stopped loving you."

He then get's up from his seat, takes her hand, pulls her up from her seat and guides her over to the sofa, as they sit down he says "First of all I have to say that I really missed you too and I suppose in a way didn't stop loving you, but I do have to be honest with you, because I did get married to someone I loved as well."

She once again squeezes his hand as she replies "It's ok because I know that you did."

He asks with some surprise "How?"

She answers "When you had the case with Isabella over the bee pollen getting into her product I was here looking for a place, then when she sacked you."

He interrupts her by saying "Temporarily sacked me."

She chuckles and carries on "Alright temporarily sacked you. Before she decided on coming back to you after the talk she had with Benny, she did come to my friend Sue's company to ask her to represent her instead. I walked in to meet Sue for lunch just as Isabella was walking out following talking to Sue, so Sue told me who she was and that she was your ex-wife. I don't care about what happened between you to end it, it's your past and I shouldn't think that it would end up affecting us in any way. But if anything does come up and it does affect us at all, then I will always be here to listen. So what else is there?"

He answers "I think that if we're going to do this, then I think that we should go back to the start again because we do have to get to know each other all over again, so I think that we should take this slowly and go back to just dating again. I doubt that my dad will ever get in touch again and try to cause trouble between us again, but I do think that we should let Benny advise us and whatever he says we should to protect us both from your dad, because I really don't want him to end up spoiling things for us again, and as you've said he's already had a try on getting us together again by paying us off or attempting too. So I honestly wouldn't put it past him to have another attempt at it if he does find out that we're back together again."

She replies "And I wouldn't put it past him either, so I would like to get Benny to look into everything for us, when we get the chance to though I would also like to have a talk with him anyway. Because with coming back here again and him so far not having found out where I was, but with him having already proved that he can get to me in the UK, I just think that's it's time that I did cut all ties with him, especially as Karen has managed to do it so successfully. This isn't just for my sake either, as I do also have to think about Michaela now as well, especially as I don't exactly trust him if he does find out about Karen and me adopting Michaela and then trying to get me to take Michaela into see him. Not that I would do that anyway because I don't think that prison would be a really good place for a child to visit anyway. Not only that I don't exactly trust him not attempting to somehow stop the adoption going through, even if I know that he wouldn't have a say about that anyway. But I know that if he did that he would be attempting to get custody of her somehow and end up giving her to god knows who. So I want to make sure that we're protected from him all round and that he can't get his hands on us in any kind of way."

He says "Ok I'll talk to him in the morning and we'll get something sorted so that the two of you can talk on your own as well. If you don't mind I would also like him to check about what to do over me, because even if we're taking things slowly we will get to the stage where we do get serious again and that will mean that we'll both be looking after Michaela together and I wouldn't actually attempting something if at anytime I had her on my own. Because I have a feeling that he's either somehow found a way round the having all his accounts frozen or has managed to have an account that he somehow managed to keep so very well hidden. Because I do think it's very strange that he did know where you were all the time when you were in the UK and that he also tried to pay you off as well as other people, so I suspect that he's somehow had the money to be able to pay for a PI or something to follow you."

She replies "I know I had a funny feeling about that possibility as well, but you're right I think that the both of us should be protected where Michaela is concerned, especially as I know that Karen would want it as well."

He then says with a smile "So it's agreed we get all of this sorted out and just take things between us slowly?"

She answers "We do and I also promise that this time I won't make you choose either."

He asks "Why did that happen with the first time round anyway?"

She replies "Blame your sister, even if she was the one that got us together in the first place."

He then says "How do you mean?"

She answers "I don't know why or how, but Sarah seemed to be under the impression that I'd already had my first time with sex, and then because she suspected that you hadn't yet, I think that she was thinking that I was taking advantage of that situation somehow, of course as we found out she was so very wrong about that. But I think it was a mixture of her pushing me towards you, with warnings of not taking advantage of the situation if anything more happened between us, then my real feelings for you coming out and wanting to be with you just scared me off in a way, so I think that was why I ended up making you chase me so hard. But honestly I had fancied you for a very long time before that and before she had even guessed it. Plus I also thought that you'd never be interested in me anyway, because in those days I was such a plain Jane and a geek as well."

He replies with a chuckle "Yes you were, but in some ways I was the same too. As well as really liking you anyway, the thing that I loved the most was listening to you talk, especially when you talked about the things that you were interested in and it was the same thing I was interested in too and I hadn't told anyone else about it. That's why I did pursue you so much because I knew that I did want to be with you so much. I suppose that was why you never corrected her about things with what she was presuming about you, because even before we had admitted it to one another that we hadn't had sex with anyone yet, I somehow did know the truth and knew you hadn't had sex as well, but at least we did get there in the end."

As he waggles his eyebrows at her, she laughs and says "That we did, even after a couple of false starts."

He also says with a chuckle "And also getting caught by my dad with my pants down, I know that we did still end up on the ban to not see each other for a while. But he did actually surprise me as I fully expected to not being able to sit down for a week or longer when he did finally call me into his study after catching us, following him having sent me to my room for what had felt like hours. But all he ended up doing was giving me a safe sex lecture and then he gave us his blessing, not before imposing the ban and grounding me for a while though. As he said that it would make us see if we were truly meant to be together and not just our teenage hormones."

She replies "Even so we still ended up being sneaky to get you out of the house, which made us finally get there in the end and even if that first time for us was a bit of a fumble, we still got there in the end. I also think that we certainly got a lot better as well, with some practise of course!"

He then says "And even if we have been apart for a little while now, we are at least a little bit older and wiser now."

As they then go in for a kiss, their first one in many years and as they finally break apart, so that they can stop it before they do take it too far. He then gets's up from the sofa and says "I'd better get going before we end up breaking our going slowly rule."

She smiles and replies in a slight whisper Ok."

She then gets up as well and they both head to her front door, as she opens it and he steps just outside, he turns and runs his fingers down the side of her face as he then says "Remember I'm here if you need me, all you need to do is just give me a shout and I'll be here."

In reply she cups his cheek and presses a light kiss to it as she then replies "I will do and thank you Bull." And with that he walks away leaving her to close the door behind him.

 **A/N: The idea for this story came to me when I first saw the episode It's complicated back in March/April when I remembered that Bull had mentioned having a half sister, but then couldn't remember if I had heard it or not! Anyway just as I'd begun to get this chapter typed up and knew with what I had left to do I'd be getting it up in the next few days I was going to try and find out if I hadn't imagined it! Then luckily for me here in the UK the ep was broadcast once again and I was relived that it hadn't been my imagination! Even if I was pleased about in a way it was also annoying because 5USA the channel that have been showing Bull complicated things by getting the episode order early on out of sync, but now with what they did last night they've now put us two episodes out of sync and with the next couple of eps they will be showing it's going to get confusing grrr! But I digress! This story is based on Bull's sister Sarah having got the two of them together when they were at school together and they stayed together as a couple until circumstance split them up. She has now returned to New York and will they be able to find love with each other again? You'll just have to wait and see! xxx. D.**


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